It’s been a while. I’m having fun and learning a lot. I like what I’m doing even if I’m changing jobs. I know what I want to be, where I want to be and who I want to be. But….
There’s still that unexplainable urge to just get away, go somewhere I’ve never been to. Do random shit I’ll pretend to regret but not really. I just want to explore but never figure it out. I don’t want to know everything but I want to experience it all. I just feel like there’s something I’m not getting. I’m either too happy or too bored. I keep forgetting to challenge what I know.
There are days, like today, when it just makes perfect sense to pack my bag and just run off somewhere. Maybe things are getting too predictable, too comfortable. And what’s the good in that?
Is contentment happiness? And happiness contentment? I know there’s joy in it. I’ve felt it before and it keeps pulling you in, making you feel safe and bundled up. Problem is, life’s not supposed to be that way. It’s a question waiting to be answered. It’s a gift, slowly unwrapping itself but never revealing the whole package. It’s a plot that gets deeper and as soon as you think you know, you realize you don’t.
Maybe that’s it. I’m supposed to be shaken up, to feel these crazy whims and decide to act on it or betray it. The only goal, however is to realize that it will never be too perfect. There is no such thing and so I must continue to run away, never from the truth but towards it, wherever it may seem to be at a particular point in time.